A Thousand Pardons
Most of my father’s things have been sold, donated or thrown away by now. But I still have his off-white, fold-up storage box of comics. With some comics dating back to the late ’60s, I open the box every so often for minor revelations. The “Fantastic Four” comics have well-worn pages. There’s only one “X-Men” comic in the box. Thor was probably his favorite superhero. My father also wrote inside some of the comics.
In Issue #272 of “The Amazing Spider-Man,” he added some thought bubbles on the splash page:
Slyde (jumping through a bank window): “GOT YOU DECREPID BITCHES NOW”
Security Guard: “FREEZE FUCK FACE. I’LL BLOW YOU FUCKEN HEAD OFF”
Bank Teller: “THATS WHAT YOU THINK, YOU BLACK EYE LOOKING ASSHOLE!”
Bank Teller #2: “What the — FUCK” (his emphasis)
Click Spider-Man for PDF of the defaced splash page.
Including television, comics helped my father learn the English language. He never quite mastered it, but it also explained why he sometimes uttered Norwegian godlike phrases. Also, he was at least 25 years old when he wrote the angry(?) speech bubbles since this issue was published in January 1986. As I near a quarter century myself, I’m reminded with my father’s personalized comics to hold nothing sacred from time to time. Issue #272 would have been worth seven bucks by now if he bothered to take care of the comic. But I love knowing that he was willing to sacrifice the value of something to enjoy said object in a new, forbidden light.
All my comic book geek friends would grimace if they knew that my father vandalized Issue #8 of “Secret Wars.” I’m afraid I have to add my own speech bubbles over his own.
A thousand pardons, noble father! I did what a warrior must do! (Thor said this.)
